As I sit with my sensations of sadness and feel the disconnection from others, I can't help but peer deeply into the center of the sensation, past the unspoken or misspoken words surrounding my expression, into the heart of the matter, the source for my tears. What revealed somewhat astonished me, yet also reverberated with a life long presence of self. Giving my self permission to feel sadness is in and of itself an act of self-care, and moving through it to the heart is a breath of love, creating the form for the following flow of words.
I wish to start from the outside in as I spiral deeper and closer to my heart because often to heal we have to work backward(past) to forward(future) through now(present) to form the life of our inner truth and expression.
Sharing is a learned behavior, or in other words, is taught to us. Interesting to observe, obviously from an older supposedly wiser person who has experienced the world and relationship with others, we are given a demonstration with a strong influence on the idea of what is right and what is wrong. The child is not, in early development, developing how to practice sharing, so much as they are practicing what can I do with the material world around me. The child is in the full-blown immersion of lessons on self-empowerment. And, in physical manifestation, this is the harnessing of masculine energy within ourselves that is one aspect of the foundation of a creational form. The other self-empowerment energy woven into creation is feminine energy or flow. As we nurture our self, love ourselves, express our self, we weave in power to do, to organize, and to implement our ideas. Also, once we have developed the power to stand strong, alone, we build bridges to connect to others, and naturally, come into a place of sharing. Foundationally, as we seek to truly know ourselves, we expand to want others to know us too. Then, we can exchange and know others as well as we know ourselves.
But, for some reason I've yet to understand, adults in the care and feeding of children, have decided to accelerate or bypass this woven stage and import the idea that it's not safe to explore and express our self-understanding and to nurture, develop, fulfill, and self identify before identifying with others. I am the first one to admit to ignorance regarding this development. and on another side note, is this concept naturally nurtured through play?; something I've noticed in at least the last 20 years of my world and child-rearing, has been extremely limited for the children.
So, continuing into the spiraling inward to unravel the source of my tears, into the next layer of intimacy with self, I personalize how the idea of sharing is developed within me. As I know myself the best, I uncovered that sharing is how I express an overabundance of absolute love for this experience called life. The joy I know as the kaleidoscope of sensations and creations that I get to participate in that seems to call forth an invitation for and to others to join me. That at the heart of me, when I am met this way with others, I am sharing an expanded experience that includes both or all of us. Why am I sad then? Because, oddly, not all people operate from this perspective of knowing self to know another to know self some more. By being guided by only form, something external, physically sensed, or material, and that you are obligated to share with others, and trying to instill the idea of equity, without including the originating flow, or sensational energy that rises from nonmaterial reality is deadly to the originating heart. That, in effect, furthers each other from truly sharing.
To, allow and remain in presence with, the feeling of this particular sadness, reactivates the presence of my heart, and gives me the comfort, affection, and recognition that through the act of taught sharing had hidden the best thing to share of all, that feminine flow energy that sits in the heart of any material creation. Master the return to the flowing heart within each of you, and watch the true power of expansion as we create together enough from each one to uphold the greater of us together. Bring forth each of our creators and recognize the truth is there is more than enough for us all.
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